I'm sorry if some of you have already heard this story, but I can't stop telling it! I was on the treadmill at the gym the other day and, due to the scuff of my shoes on the belt and the dry desert air, I kept getting shocked by static electricity every time I accidentally touched anything around me. It wasn't that big of a deal, so I just ignored it and plugged my headphones into the treadmill. I had been listening to Obama's speech in the car, and I wanted to keep listening, so I tuned the headset to CNN.  I was smiling placidly and listening to the promise of new green energy when all of sudden, a jolt of static electricity traveled up my headphone wire, into my earbud, and electrocuted my entire ear canal at a voltage reserved for movies like One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.  

I shrieked "JESUS CHRIST!" at the top of my lungs, possibly offending and definitely terrifying the woman running next to me. I just clawed the sizzling wires away from my face and wadded them into the drink holder. I was shaking. Am I alive? What year is this? Who's the president? Where am I? Luckily, nine out of the ten TVs confirmed that Obama was the president, and after glancing around the room and seeing that everyone looked a little bit like they could be on Rock of Love, I confirmed that I was in California. 

I actually placed my trembling hands on the heart rate sensors, mostly out of curiosity. The good news was my heart rate wasn't too crazy from my shock, the bad news was that everyone in the gym was staring at me. I thought about pointing to the TVs and saying, "Sorry guys, it's just the state of the economy. Terrifying. Shocking," but I just smiled weakly and attempted to read Obama's lips for the remainder of the broadcast.