Recently, I was privy to a glorious Weight Watchers guidebook. It was designed so that when people on Weight Watchers are contemplating eating a food item, they can consult the book to find out how many "points" that particular item is worth. For example, one listing might say:
Strawberries (6 oz.)......................................0 pts.
Strawberries (6 oz.)......................................0 pts.
At first, everything inside seemed pretty standard: steak, pasta, DQ Blizzards, and so forth; but every once in awhile your eyes would light upon something absolutely freaking insane. Here are a few choice entries:
Shark (4 oz.).....................................1 pt.
Beaver (4 oz.)...................................1 pt.
Armadillo (4 oz.)...............................1 pt.
Squirrel (4 oz.)...................................1 pt.
Rogan Josh (6 0z.).............................3 pts.
Okay, first of all - who the hell is eating armadillo? I mean, seriously. Second of all, how much does, "Rogan Josh" sound like a phonebook listing for a guy named Josh Rogan? Apparently it's a lamb curry named after a charming, all-American high school runningback.
Handful of Gravel.................................. 2 pts.
One Earthworm......................................1 pt.
Fingernails (3).........................................1pt.
Molten Lava (6 fluid oz.)........................4 pts.
Oh my gosh, I have to go! My cell phone's ringing and it's Josh Rogan!!!
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