Do you hear something?

I was scouring the Internet looking for a story I couldn't quite remember about someone whom I thought had skin cells removed from their ear, and then grafted onto their nose due to skin cancer. The story went, in my mind at least, that the ear cells were so hellbent on continuing their life's mission to become an ear that the patient's nose started to grow some sort of ear-like growth on the end of it. The person had, in a sense, a total earnose. 

Man, I wanted that story to be true! I now actually think it may have just been a dream I had. In any case, as I was obsessively googling it and finding nothing to support the reality of my fabled earnose, I did come across this guy.

This guy has an armear. You can read the full article that I stumbled across here. He's a Greek-born Australian performance artist named Stelios Arcadious, which is like, four letters away from Stadium Arcadium, the Red Hot Chili Peppers album.  Some people call him "Stelarc." I call him "reason I can't sleep at night."

He spent 10 years searching for a surgeon willing to perform the controversial operation and, as I understand it, his "third ear" is really human cartilage that has been grown into the shape of an ear, kind of like the Batman cakes my mom used to bake for us as kids, except those solidified into the shape of Batman. And we did not implant them in our body, but rather ate them whilst drinking Super Sips purchased at the red store that subsequently and without fail burned our throats like battery acid. 

In any case, to further enhance the living art exhibit of his own body,  the artist hopes "to have a tiny microphone implanted [in] it that will connect with a Bluetooth transmitter; that way you can listen to what my ear is hearing."

Okay, let me just repeat that. 

He hopes to have a tiny microphone implanted in his arm ear, so that people can hear what his arm ear is hearing. Wow. How committed to the arm ear is this guy? He just wants to maintain the authenticity of a real ear that badly. Can he take it out? Will it be there forever? Is he going to put a dorsal fin on his back? Or some sort of finger mohawk on his head? Because I'm totally getting a second set of eyes and a mouth installed and its going to look a little like this.

I also loved how many Bluetooth and hearing aid ads ran up and down the page alongside the original article.