Would You Rather

My students and I were playing a round of "Would You Rather" and my fifth-grader came up with one that started, "Would you rather live in an ice cream shop," and I was nodding, already liking the first option, and then she continued, "but it's haunted, or..." Wait a second. Haunted? Not so fast! This is no ordinary ice cream shop! "What's my second choice?" I asked.

My other option was "living in a car in the woods that are full of monsters and it's always night."

Wow. This was going to be a tough one. I don't like it when it's always night. In the end, I chose ice cream shop, because I like ice cream, and I think I could tolerate some paranormal activity if necessary.

Then, she insisted that we explain our dream houses, jobs, and cities.

Her dream job: Alice or Tinkerbell at Disneyland.

Her dream house: Really big mansion with long white marble staircases and the white marble staircases have gold railings.

Her dream city: Everything is made out of candy: the roads are chocolate bars, the clouds are whipped cream, the rain is marshmallows. And, blood is jam.


"What?"


"Blood is jam."


"Eww. Like strawberry jam? Like in Candyworld your blood is strawberry jam?"


"Yeah!"


Think about how creepy it is that she thought of that! She just went from a perfectly acceptable childhood fantasy, in which your world looks exactly like that old school Dairy Queen commercial, to "I want to eat some blood!" What is she, some sort of Cullen?

I guess it is kind of sweet and innocent though. Taking something sad and gory and turning it into something that may very well be pumping through Strawberry Shortcake's veins as we speak.

In any case, I'm still thinking of exactly what would constitute my dream house, my dream job, and my dream city; but there's one thing I know for sure. Every time I enter a Cold Stone Creamery, for a flickering moment, I will wonder what it would be like to live inside, pestered by poltergeists, surrounded by floating cones.