Here's a quick video of my first date with Scott

I think I'm just going to start dressing like Day to Night Barbie for job interviews. The whole ensemble is just so, I don't know - professional. Especially the large white hat. I love the part where Barbie is "using the computer," but really, she's just briefly karate chopping the right side of the keyboard while an '80s computer sound blee bloops in the background.

At first I thought this Barbie was just "Home and Office Barbie," but then I remembered, no, she's "Day to Night Barbie"! The whole outfit is designed so that she can go out with Ken after work! Having owned one of these dolls, I searched my memory and was like, "Didn't that skirt reverse into evening wear?"

I was so happy when this commercial confirmed it. Just think about enduring an entire day at work with scratchy pink tulle smashed under your pencil skirt. It's just ravaging your legs but you don't care, "Ignore...netburn....must dance with Ken..." Like how hard it would it be to just keep an extra dress in your office? Is Ken coming like, five seconds after you clock out? He can't wait while you change? It's just way more convenient to wear reversible clothing? I love Barbie.

My eyes!

The picture is a little blurry, but that's only because I was shaking so violently from laughter at the gas station where these disturbing candies were so prominently displayed. How did this product get past Wonka quality control?

We have also been going to the street fair a lot lately, and these crazy little guys are displayed at a lawn ornament booth - and let me just tell you, they really draw the eye. Their whimsical anthropomorphism will haunt me for years to come.

In conclusion...

What I love about the people who invented the new compostable Sun Chips bag is that they didn't just create a biodegradable package - they also created the loudest chip bag in history. There's actually a warning on the bag apologizing for its markedly loud, crackly nature. Small price to pay for a bag that breaks down in your backyard compost though! Even though the three people in my town that are actually composting right now probably don't buy Sun Chips, favoring rather bulk quinoa and sprouted grain bread. Still though, it's a promising step in the right direction.

While coming up with packaging made from material that eventually disappears is a great idea, my students came up with some items that would not be so great if they were indeed made out that same"now you see it, now you don't" biodegrading corn-based polymer. Here they are in order of escalating importance:

- your desk

- your pants

That's as far as we got, but you can see that they are total geniuses. I can't wait to see what they will invent.

My Phone Thinks I am at a Renaissance Fair

Whenever I text "mins," as in, "I'll be there in 5 mins," my phone automatically suggests I may have meant to say "minstrel." Whenever I attempt to text "smiley," as in, "That smiley with the letter 'B' for sunglasses is hilarious," it thinks I want to say "amulet." Minstrel and amulet. Under what circumstances would I ever need to send a text regarding either of those items? Does my phone think I have a drawbridge at my house? Does it think I wear one of those cone hats with a scarf coming out of it? I am not a wizard. I am not a jouster. I realize I've brought up this predictive text issue before, but I am perpetually incredulous! Come to think of it, I've also brought up amulets before... Maybe I am like, one cape away from LAIRE. Maybe my phone knows something I don't.

Luke, you are a father

I love the blog Cake Wrecks! They actually have a book out now and it is priceless. Check out this creepy Baby Ethan cake. I love that they never run out of material!

This is just weird

Seriously?

Chili's Doesn't Fuck Around!

This is the sign I saw posted at one of the elite Chili's "Curbside-To- Go" parking spots. Look how intimidating it is! If you park there and you're not just popping in to pick up your pizza shooters, shrimp poppers, or extreme fajitas...then they are going to eff you up.

What kind of bad-ass mercenary towing service does Chili's employ? Do they just stake out the restaurant, and if you are in breach of the well-documented ten minute limit, some sort of Decepticon comes out, incinerates your car, and then sprinkle the remains on top of some sizzling-hot nachos? Does Megatron serve it to you like, "Yeah! Eat up bitch! Cuz this is Chili's! And we don't fuck around!"

Oddly enough, underneath the extremely aggressive and threatening warning, is this warning....

It's a little blurry, but that's only because a giant car-melting robot was pounding its fist on the roof of my car as I took the photo. In any case, let me get this straight. If I park in this spot without getting food, my car is crushed and melted - possibly with me inside it. If I park in this spot, pick up my Chili's to go, and then eat it, my organs and possibly my unborn children will be crushed and melted by carcinogens?

What the fuck Chili's? Jesus. I'm going to Red Robin.

Whitney gets full props for finding this

I can't get enough of Kenny Powers

3-D Printers = AMAZING

When my dad was younger, in the late sixties, he knew a girl who lived in NYC and worked at Seventeen. She had a device that recorded television and he thought, "Wow, now that's going to be huge!" He was right. He saw the future. Years later, we had our first VCR. It even had its own remote control...that you had to plug into the VCR, creating a living room trip wire that surely caused disaster when we got up to get more Crystal Pepsi during an Ewok Adventure commercial break. The point is, Dad knew people were going to love that device, he just had a feeling. I have that same feeling now when I look at these 3-D printers. I'm not sure if they will ever be as universal as the VCR, but I definitely want them to be big someday! Hmm, Laserdisc or DVD? Only time will tell.

Here is a demo that shows the basic concept of what a 3-D printer does.





You have to request a price quote from ZCorp for their products, and I'm not sure how expensive these devices can get, but this Desktop Factory model is marketed as the most affordable at about $5000.

If right now you're thinking, "Yeah, that's cool... if you have a real big need to make little plastic models on a regular basis!" My answer to you is this. What if we fill the printer with cake? And then, you could just use the computer software to create a 3-D image of anything, like, the head of David Bowie (much like Jordan and I did when we made our medieval shield for Witzel's class), and then, the printer would just carve out a cake in the shape of David Bowie's head! Whether it's Labyrinth Bowie or Ziggy Stardust Bowie, it's all the same. That cake is delicious and you just printed it in your own home!

My friend, Roxana is a sculptor, and she thinks it's amazing. When she lived in Italy, her workshop had a giant machine that you could program to carve marble.

You can actually create 3-D objects with a regular printer as well, by using software that takes a 3-D image, flattens it to a 2-D image, which you can print, and then fold into your desired 3-D object. For example, here is a turkey.

I think they use a program called Blender, but there is an even more popular program that I'm blanking on - does anyone know the name? I saw guys use it to take characters from video games, and copy their helmets and weapons into the program, so they could essential fold these giant paper swords. I loved it. I think you can actually download a template of a Tron helmet here which is pretty much why the Internet exists and why it rules.

The chocolate inhaler - not so sure it's going to sweep the nation - but the 3-D printer definitely has possibilities. Now if they could just make one with a plug-in remote control...

Related:

The Onion: Do You Remember Life Before the Segway?