The other day, I was telling Scott about this girl I grew up with who had a fire pole in her house. Then we started thinking about how cool it is that firefighters have all of these gadgets to help them get to fires fast - like the pole for sliding (stairs are for slowpokes), the boots with handles ( so you can pull them up quickly), and so on and so forth. Then we were like, what if it got so extreme that they started sleeping in beds with trapdoors that, when the alarm sounded, dropped them into tubes that shot them straight into their trucks, fully dressed, and maybe even still asleep? And then a robotic arm with a toothbrush could just come out and brush their teeth. Why does that always happen in the future?

But seriously, why don't more professions institute this kind of streamlined get-up-and-go? I can think of so many jobs where people want to be faster...like aren't there guys who wear those wheelie shoes in warehouses now? That's a start, but why stop there? Maybe people could just start wearing full-on rollerskates. And speedsuits. And using Segways. That just reminded me of something I saw on the Onion titled, "Do You Remember Life Before the Segway?" Like it just totally changed our world. Everyone rides them. And all of our meals are just pills. Turkey dinners in pills.

What about the fact that elementary school playgrounds ALWAYS had a pole you could slide down. And you would WAIT IN LINE to do it? Like, "Oh man, I gotta slide down that! And then, I'm gonna slide down that." (Pointing to the actual "slide," which, come to think of it, has a title which gives you pretty clear directions on what to do with it, much like the "swing." Wait, what do I do on this? Oh yeah...)

I did read that fire poles are actually being phased out now due to hazards (including burns from sliding too fast) and instead, fire stations are now mostly built as one story. But, any way you slice it, firefighters are the coolest. They are so tough! And I still think it's pretty cool that someone thought up a creative, fast way to get from point A to point B (besides the Segway, of course). But, you know what human invention wasn't so smart? This. Why did anyone think that was a good idea?

In any case, I leave you with a few questions:

1) Which organizations should implement special technology to improve their employees' speed and how should they do so? OR what's the fastest way you can think of to get from point A to point B?

2) What was the most ridiculous playground equipment at your elementary school playground?

3) What is the world's funniest invention?

4) Do you remember life before the Segway?