Here's My Dad With Bill Clinton

How Much is This Seared Into Your Memory?

What if the Only CDs you Were Allowed to Listen to Were Those you Selected From BMG/Columbia House's 12 CDs for a Penny Deal in 1994?

Sure, at first twelve CDs for one penny sounds like a great idea, but what if part of the deal was you could ONLY listen to those 12 albums until the end of time? How would you fare?

My List

1.) Steve Miller Band's Greatest Hits - Okay, not bad. So far, so good.

2.) Van Morrison's Greatest Hits - Again, not bad, I still like Van Morrison.

3.) Soul Asylum, Grave Dancer's Union - Uh oh. I can't name one other song on this album besides "Runaway Train." Also, the first clue that the BMG/Columbia House deal coincided with the year my parents finally let us get MTV.

5.) Blind Melon - Feeling better, I like "No Rain" and "Change." I am totally going to read your mind right now. Are you picturing this?

6.) Ice Cube, The Predator - Featuring "Today Was a Good Day." Okay, you have to read these lyrics. Then, picture me, as a 13-year-old white girl, growing up in a woodsy dairy town and listening to this song. I wonder if I was the fan base member Ice Cube pictured when he wrote this song? Just picture him, like, wisely looking up at a thought bubble and it's just my 8th grade ASB card picture. Doubtful.

7.) Bon Jovi, Cross Road - Scott called me Bon Jovi for like six months after I got a (totally sweet) haircut in 2002. The earth is Bon Jovi's bed.

4.) Salt 'N Pepa, Very Necessary - Canna get some fries with that shake-shake booty? If looks could kill you would be an uzi, or a shotgun - bang! What's up with that thang? I wanna know, how does it hang? Ask me one thing I remember from my 8th grade Oceanography class and my brain retrieves nothing. All that comes to mind is Osher flexing, I'll admit, impressively. Yet, I can still remember all the lyrics to "Shoop."Why does my brain make these choices?

8.) Porno for Pyros - This one had "Pets" on it, you know "We'll make great pets, we will make great pets ..." MTV totally suckered me into purchasing this. Why do I feel like I spent an entire summer watching Beavis and Butthead and this video? And going to the King County Fair? And tucking my shirt in in the front, and yet untucking it in the back?

9.) Candlebox - I still totally love this album.

10.) Stone Temple Pilots, Core - I just realized Steve may have actually purchased these CDs and I just stole them. Sorry. I also borrowed your Sir Mix-A-Lot tape.

11.) The Bodyguard Soundtrack - You mother effer. Get off the desert island now.

12.) The Angus Soundtrack - okay, I didn't really buy this one...until my sophomore year of college! And then I got totally ripped up for it by my housemates. But, it had that "Goodbye, lay the blame on luck," song by Love Spit Love, with a special marching band sample! I felt like I had to get it, despite facing scathing ridicule, come to think of it, much like Angus himself faced in the film.

So, pros and cons. Kind of eye opening in the sense that my music taste has not changed much since 1994 while Ice Cube has changed significantly.

Could Be Good

I saw this guy on Conan and he was pretty funny. Um, is that an Andrew W. K. song in the background, or is it just my wishful pining?

Quit Forcing Me to Ingest Pomegranate

This Book Stresses Me Out

A Good Question

My students are getting ready to take an international flight, so they have been full of questions. Here's a conversation between myself and my nine-year-old student.

Student: But you can't make jokes about bombs when you're getting on a plane.

Me: No, that's right, they have to take any reference to a bomb seriously, no matter what.

Student: But what if you're a kid and you made a joke?

Me: Well, they still want you to be really serious when you're getting ready to get on a plane. Although, if you're just a kid, they might not worry too much about it. It's not like guards just seize you.

Student: But what if your name is "Bob" and someone says, "Hey, Bob!" and it just sounds like "bomb"?

Me: Well, you would probably be able to clear that up.

Student: What if your name is "Bomb"?

Me: Hmmmm. That's a really good point.


I saw this at Ralph's this morning and it made me laugh so hard.