Dear Mark Paul Gosselaar,
Your haircuts continue to alarm me.

The Oxen Have Dysentery

100% Whole Wheat Hunk

I saw this on gigglesugar and I was dying. It kind of reminds me of Scott when he bakes.

Are These Robots in The Grapes of Wrath?

Wait, don't even look at this blog. Go to this blog ,, where they are PAYING me to write about ROBOTS! Which, I mean, let's me honest, I would do for free. It's a guest blog gig at Retro Thing! Check it out!

Michael Phelps is unstoppable. He's superhuman. He's going to fill a Scrooge McDuck money bin full of gold medals, swim through them, and win another gold medal. Here is a photograph of his biological mother. I've never even cared about swimming until now.

But, When is it Cold?

So, Coors made a breakthrough a la Generra Hypercolor and created bottles whose mountains turn blue when your beer is cold. More specifically, according to an old press release: 

The new Coors Light Cold Certified Bottle features proprietary temperature-sensitive thermal chromatic ink technology that turns the Coors Light mountains from white to blue when the beer is chilled to four degrees Celsius or less, signaling the beer is ice cold and ready to enjoy.

What Coors failed to remember is that I already have a special "temperature-sensitive" device that detects when the beer has reached optimum frigidity. Take a look at it here