I saw special white truffle oil shampoo the other day. Really? White truffle oil? In shampoo? I understand that in certain realms, truffle oil can be quite appealing, but last time I checked, my hair was not a delicious mushroom risotto.

Everywhere I turn, there are new luxury ingredients touted in consumable products. And some of these decadent beauty ingredients are scary! Like lava! According to Luxist, Armani's new face cream, Crema Nera, has obsidian in it! It was "inspired his summer holidays on the volcanic island of Pantelleria which is located between Sicily and Africa." I love that Armani just looked at this island, full of erupting volcanoes and molten lava and was like, "I have to put this on my face." It even has a patented "magmatic texture." Say no more. I just want to stick my face right over Mt. St. Helens. In any case, Armani's promises are not as far fetched as some. Apparently minerals can have a scientifically positive effect on your skin. Is the obsidian found in Crema Nera effective? I'm not sure. But you know obsidian is good for? Making arrowheads.

La Prairie had the brilliant idea to put 24K gold into their Pure Gold serum. All I can think about is Goldschlagger. Whenever I see it, I think, "Is it okay to drink gold? That doesn't seem right." Likewise, slathering it all over yourself seems rather dangerous as well. "Oh, but it's so rare," some might say. You know what else is rare? Bald eagle poop. Am I going to rub it on my face? Probably not.

Speaking of gold and faces, I think I'll close by asking, what the hell is this, besides the plot to The Mask?

P. S. Rachel - I am in the process of developing a special "Black Hills Gold" serum just for us!

Just Because

Pour ceux étant sur le point la roche, nous vous saluons!

Imagine coming home to find a CD from this band sitting on your kitchen counter. That's what happened to me last Christmas. The above shot is just an example; the exact album cover was even cooler. I just picked it up and was like, "Scott. Seriously. Where did you find this?" It looked like an album a fictional Steel Dragon-like band would make. He was like, "Oh! That's for Francois! It's his favorite band. They're like the French ACDC." Come again? France has its own ACDC? That's amazing. I mean, imagine if every band you ever loved had an international counterpart. The Swiss Bon Jovi. The Chinese Iron Maiden. The Canadian New Kids on the Block. It's a dream come true.

Francois is the French pastry chef at Scott's restaurant. I love him. First of all, Scott often comes home with his leftover fantastic creations: homemade gumdrops, mousse towers, and chocolate croissants; and once, Scott spent a whole day learning to bake with him and when he came home, he smelled just delightful. And he makes pretzel bread. Which is as carbtastic as it sounds.

I once asked Francois repeatedly if he lives in a gingerbread house. Don't you think he does? In any case, Francois loves Trust and when Scott gave him the album, he was so stoked. Scott said he was just smiling and pointing at all the band members going, "Zat is Bernee, zat is Jeannot, zat is Nono, zat is Raymond." He also frequently belts out their songs in full-on French while slamming an air guitar around the kitchen. The cooks love it. Who wouldn't?

The other thing I love about Francois is that he speaks four different languages, and Scott says sometimes he'll be like, "Hey Scott, put it by the uh, the uh, the uh, the uh, the oven!" like he's just racking his brain for the correct terminology.

I guess Bon Scott spent a lot of time with Trust right before he died. There was a total mutual respect between the bands and each one covered the other's songs. If you think about it, Bon Scott name even sounds French. All I want is to make a Baz Luhrmann musical movie of their story. I would call it Highway to France. Baz, if you're out there, the time is now.