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I saw special white truffle oil shampoo the other day. Really? White truffle oil? In shampoo? I understand that in certain realms, truffle oil can be quite appealing, but last time I checked, my hair was not a delicious mushroom risotto.


Everywhere I turn, there are new luxury ingredients touted in consumable products. And some of these decadent beauty ingredients are scary! Like lava! According to Luxist, Armani's new face cream, Crema Nera, has obsidian in it! It was "inspired his summer holidays on the volcanic island of Pantelleria which is located between Sicily and Africa." I love that Armani just looked at this island, full of erupting volcanoes and molten lava and was like, "I have to put this on my face." It even has a patented "magmatic texture." Say no more. I just want to stick my face right over Mt. St. Helens. In any case, Armani's promises are not as far fetched as some. Apparently minerals can have a scientifically positive effect on your skin. Is the obsidian found in Crema Nera effective? I'm not sure. But you know obsidian is good for? Making arrowheads.

La Prairie had the brilliant idea to put 24K gold into their Pure Gold serum. All I can think about is Goldschlagger. Whenever I see it, I think, "Is it okay to drink gold? That doesn't seem right." Likewise, slathering it all over yourself seems rather dangerous as well. "Oh, but it's so rare," some might say. You know what else is rare? Bald eagle poop. Am I going to rub it on my face? Probably not.

Speaking of gold and faces, I think I'll close by asking, what the hell is this, besides the plot to The Mask?
P. S. Rachel - I am in the process of developing a special "Black Hills Gold" serum just for us!














6 comments:

mjd said...

I prefer my shampoo that is made out of kittens and panda cubs.

caitlin said...

Cubs, too. Only cubs.

Rachel said...

Can't wait... could you throw a little Earl in too? I hear it's another good face metal. Extremely rare.

Buff Tan Honky said...

I love the concept of obsidian face wash. Since obsidian is volcanic glass and cuts like a razor, I think its a great idea to pulverize it and rub it against my flesh! I bet they put it in just because obsidian is a cool word to put on the label. Also it gives your face a 'youthful glow' which is just your face responding to six billion microscopic cuts.

jon & Whitney Pilz, said...

Do you want to get nerdy? I heard that gold was thought to have medicinal value in the ancient world. Little Baby Jesus was given gold as a gift not because of its monetary value, but because it was like health food. Just like frankincense and myrrh. I would only buy myrrh shampoo if it made that sound when I was washing, rinsing, and repeating. "Myrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhh..."

caitlin said...

When I was reading about that volcanic face stuff, all I could think about was Pompeii. Remember all those lava casts of people dying? So sad. That would not have been a good marketing angle. Once, Scott and I went to a lava cast forest in Oregon and we were totally craning our heads around looking for giant petrified trees and we kept going, "Geez, watch out for those holes. There sure are a lot of holes around here." Well, turns out the holes ARE the lava casts. Like a tree gets stuck in lava, and leaves an impression. Duh. We were like expecting giant trees made of rock or something.