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Let's Play Goth!

Two really quick stories about my dear little students.

The other day, I was in our classroom with my little 4th grader and I was shuffling through some of their papers, kind of focusing on it intently. She had just got done with lunch and was kind of twirling around the room and singing to herself when all of a sudden she stops and says, "Hey! Let's play 'GOTH'!" I was like, "Hmm?" "Let's play,'Goth!'" she repeats. I was still trying to figure out the paperwork so I just said, "Okay, sounds good," without questioning her on the details. Then, she just jumps up, shuts all the blinds in the room to make it as dark as possible, and just lays down on the floor with her arms crossed over her like a vampire. She's just laying there with her eyes shut pretending to be dead. I was dying. I was like, "That's how you play 'Goth?'" Like, when she thinks of gothic people, that's what she thinks they do. I feel like we're going to have to have a conversation soon about how the people that work at Hot Topic are not bad people, just different.

We took a trip recently to Las Vegas, so my 4th grader could take a state writing test. We were having lunch at Subway during a break in the test and I was taking the moment to you know, set my sandwich down and tell him really seriously that I was so proud of him and I really thought he was going to ace this test because he's such an intuitive writer, "You are doing so great, I just want you to know that I'm proud of all the work you've done and" - "What if you could live in a house made of ham?" This is what he interrupts me to ask. He had been looking over my shoulder at a huge poster of different kinds of ham. I love it. I'm trying to like, have a really serious talk with him and what he's thinking is, "I wanna live in a HAM house!" They are the sweetest kids ever.

I just got back from an amazing trip to Estes Park Colorado, where my couisin got married at the Stanley Hotel. The Stanley is the hotel that inspired Stephen King to write The Shining. Also, it's where they filmed parts of Dumb and Dumber! I love the part where they race up the stairs.

Ghost Hunters did a couple of fantastic episodes at the Stanley. We actually got to do a ghost tour that highlighted some of the places where the crew filmed. It was very cool. My cousin and I went into one of the side rooms, and, I don't know why, but we had this feeling like we should take a picture in one of the mirrors there. As you can see, our inclination was dead-on. The picture is a little blurry, but we caught the faintest trace of three ghosts in the room.

Top Five Enumclaw Places I Would Bring Back if I Had The Power

1. Farr-Farrs - The proximity to Godfather's could not be beat. They would give you that little cup so you could spit out all the bubble gum from your bubble gum ice cream. My favorite flavor was peanut butter and jelly.

2. Jayhawks - Do you know how long I thought the jackelope was a real creature? Free popcorn. In sixth grade I got both my fluorescent ski coat and my 6th grade camp bathing suit there. Little known fact - much to my mom's dismay, I waited until the last minute to get the bathing suit and ended up wearing a LEOTARD whose tiny cap sleeves I would TUCK UNDER to make it look more like a bathing suit. Also fluorescent.

3. The Bowling Alley - Seriously, I would build this tomorrow if I could. When I taught, all the kids told me they missed having one. What if I made one with a NASCAR theme and called it Kahne's Lanes? It's an idea.

4. Small Talk- This ephemeral store opened at the exact peak of my dollhouse phase. It was just full of tiny food and miniatures. It used to be in that blue house kind of by Ernie's and Subway? Do you know which one I mean? Wait. Does anyone remember Desi Snitch from the graffiti in Auburn? That did not really belong here, but I think I would bring back Desi Snitch as well.

5. Baumgartner's - The sandwiches were so killer! Why have you forsaken me, Baumgartner's?

This list could go on forever.

Krokus

http://music.aol.com/artist/krokus/10040

You have to click on the picture above and watch this video from the band Krokus. Scott told me that they used to tour with Ratt and Dokken. I love that they took a totally innocuous, flower like the crocus and just metalized it. They were just looking at that old picture that is in every textbook, of the crocus peeking through the snow, and they were like, "Our search for a band name is over. Behold the crocus. Indomitable. Steadfast. Resilient. " And the spelling totally reminds me of this band.

My Christmas List 1987

Square One Television

Yes!

Okay, Whitney, this is for you. Let's talk about Degrassi Junior High! Long before college at Western, when, for some of us, our exposure to Canada became (sadly) mostly about stumbling towards sticky-floored border bars with names like "China Beach " and "Cheers;" real, authentic Canadian life came to us via this serious teenage drama. And when I say "serious," I mean serious. It was like a series made up entirely of after-school-specials. Those kids barely made it out of there alive. No serious issue went untouched. While our beloved Saved By the Bell did deal with its oil spills and drug addiction, it was just no contest when it came to the seriousness that was Degrassi. At Degrassi, the bully got AIDS! Becky the duck wouldn't last five minutes in those hallways.

What I remember most is Stephanie Kaye, the girl who comes to school every morning in a preppy, wholesome outfit and then sneaks into the bathroom to change into some sort of Jem and the Holograms get-up before class. I also loved, "Spike," a girl with amazing hair who becomes pregnant at 14. She was really strong, but the dad, Shane, was constantly strugggling with his new responsibility. I found this great quote on a website called, Degrassi Online that synopsized: "When Emma was born, Spike had to find the time to juggle school and take care of her baby. Shane wanted to be involved, and asked if he could help out with child support. He later missed out in payments to go see the Gourmet Scum concert, and later took acid, and jumped off a bridge, leaving permanent head injuries." Classic Degrassi. The kid can't just like, drink and drive. He has to launch himself off a bridge.

I was also amazed by the fact that there was a character with the name "Caitlin" on the show, because I grew up not knowing anyone with my name. That was before the country became overrun with Caitlins; I mean, you can't swing a bat in an elementary school without knocking over fifteen. By the way, what are you doing bringing a bat in there? Wait, are you on acid, like Shane?

That brings us to Joey Jeremiah. The kid in the hat. Who, by the way, is on Degrassi: The Next Generation. My favorite part is that the show is all about Emma, Spike's baby! The circle is complete.

Bon Jovi Sleeps in a Dirty Ditch

I have a theory. Jon Bon Jovi hasn't slept in thirty years.

I arrived at this theory after a conversation with Scott the other night. I don't remember how, but the term "shot down" popped up and inevitably, we started singing the bits and pieces of "Blaze of Glory" that we could remember. Of course, as per the tacit directive, we had to sing the (often totally incorrect) lyrics in a kind of serious tough-guy voice; like maybe we grew up on the wrong side of the tracks, rode our bike into the desert after getting into a fight with our longshoreman father, and finally became a cowboy. In any case, here are the opening lines to "Blaze of Glory:"

I wake up in the morning

And I raise my weary head

I got an old coat for a pillow

And the earth was last night's bed

Scott and I were like, okay, so no matter where Bon Jovi is, he's just sleeping on a dirty patch of desert with, as Scott imagined, only two pieces of straw scattered around. Then, I thought of these lyrics:

I want to lay you down in a bed of roses

For tonight I sleep on a bed of nails

Seriously. Somebody give Bon Jovi a bed! He's tired! At least that's what I thought until I read the lyrics to this song, "I'll Sleep When I'm Dead:"

This ain't no slumber party

Got no time for catching z's

If they say that that ain't healthy

Well then living's a disease

'Til I'm six feet under I won't need a bed

Gonna live while I'm alive

I'll sleep when I'm dead

'Til they roll me over

And lay my bones to rest

Gonna live while I'm alive

I'll sleep when I'm dead

So, the point is Bon Jovi doesn't even want to sleep. Kind of like the Beastie Boys. Until they arrive in Brooklyn, at which point, each one falls into an instant, delightful slumber.

Scary Skeletons

This is so funny. I heard it on the radio the other day and I was laughing so hard.

Fatty

You know what I've discovered? Being a kid involves a lot of unselfconcious singing. My students sing all day long. Just nonsense songs. Not embarrassed at all. There must be a small window of time when life is like this. I love working with my students, though. They are so smart and so funny. Here are some of my favorite conversations to date:

Student: Caitlin?

Me: Yes?

Student: You know when you see a like, a human skeleton?

Me: Uh huh.

Student: Well, don't you think sometimes it looks like the heart is in a jail?

Like the ribcage is the jail. How cute is that? Here's another one. Picture just driving two kids, quietly reading in the back seat with their two brand-new stuffed polar bears by their sides. Everyone's been mute for like twenty minutes when this happens:

Student: Caitlin?

Me: Yes?

Student (sadly lifting up her bear for me to see): My guy has diabetes.

I was like, how do I even react to that? Then, she and her brother just threw their polar bears back and forth as fast as they could while singing "Viva Las Vegas." I loved it.

My favorite though was when one student was reading a complicated history lesson online, and I kept asking her stuff like, "Okay, so what does it say about how George Washington wanted to be addressed," and she would just peer at the text and turn to me with the answer and then finally, at the very end, she just squinted really hard at the screen and pointed with her finger and said "Oh wait... it says one... more... thing...here... 'Caitlin... is.... a fatty!'" and then she just looked at me and cracked up for like an hour. I was like, "Real funny kid, real funny."